How should I document harassment at work?

Start a log, not just a report

Reporting an incident to HR is one document. A log is different: an ongoing, dated record you keep for yourself of everything relevant, whether or not you reported each entry at the time.

The reason a log matters more than memory is timing. Harassment allegations are evaluated by looking at the entire record and the context around it, including how often something happened and whether it fits a pattern. A log written as things happen supplies exactly that record. A recollection assembled months later, after you have already decided to act, is weaker and easier to challenge.

Start the log the day you decide something is worth writing down. You do not need to have reported it yet, and you do not need to be sure it rises to the level of a legal claim. You can decide that later; you cannot recreate a contemporaneous record after the fact.

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What each entry should have

Keep the format the same every time so the log reads as consistent, not reconstructed. For each entry, write: the date and approximate time, where it happened, who did it, who else was there or nearby, what was said or done in as close to exact words as you can manage, and what happened immediately before and after.

Note your own reaction and anything you said in response, since that context matters too. If the same conduct had happened before, say so and reference the earlier entry rather than repeating the whole description.

Separate what you observed from what you concluded. "He said I should smile more after commenting on my appearance" is an observation. "He's trying to intimidate me" is a conclusion. Keep both, but keep them labeled as different things. The observation is what will hold up; the conclusion is your read on it.

Log the pattern, not just the worst incident

It is tempting to only write down the incidents that feel serious enough to matter. That undercuts the log's real value. A pattern of smaller incidents, each logged as it happened, often does more work than a single bad day, because it shows the conduct was ongoing and that isolated-incident arguments do not apply.

Petty slights and one-off friction are not usually enough on their own to meet the legal standard for harassment. But a comment that seems minor by itself can become part of a pattern that does meet it once you can show it happened repeatedly, over time, and did not stop after you objected. You will not know in the moment which entries end up mattering most, so log conservatively rather than filtering as you go.

This also protects you against a common employer response: reframing a pattern as a single overreaction to one ambiguous comment. A dated log makes that reframing harder.

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Where to keep it, and what to leave out

Keep the log somewhere you control: a personal notes app, a personal email draft, or a notebook at home. Do not keep your only copy on a work device or in a work account. Access to work email and messaging apps can end the same day employment does, often without warning.

Keep the log narrow. It should contain your own observations and copies of things sent to or about you, not employer material unrelated to your situation. Do not copy personnel files, HR documents about coworkers, customer data, or anything privileged or proprietary. Taking that kind of material can create a separate problem for you and distract from the harassment itself.

If you think a document you should not copy yourself is important, do not take it. Write down what it is, where it lives, and who has it, and raise it with an attorney instead. There are lawful ways to get it later if it turns out to matter.